So

No support

and even one LIKE for me leaving

Thanks for letting me know how you all feel

or how truly indifferent you all are

I was really hoping you all weren’t as insensitive as that but again I’m wrong

And it’s great to know that when I do reach the breaking point again, no one will give two shits

the mean part of me does want to call out a few particular people I thought were truly my friends on here, because I think your behavior is extremely cruel

but it wouldn’t matter to them anyway,as has been made abundantly clear

Not that it matters to anyone, but I think I’m going to be making this tumblr private.

I’m just really getting sick of how superficial it has remained, and how despite me trying to reach out, I am no more than a passing fancy to almost everyone.

And I don’t really care if some people think this is me whoring for attention. I WISH it were as as easy as that.

But it’s really not.

I’m sick of being passed over. I’m sick of the people who I have tried SO HARD to reach out to, to genuinely comfort, and I am literally just brushed aside. It hurts SO much more than you could ever understand, because that’s what’s done to me all the time in real life. I gather up all the shreds of bravery I have, and open the locks of my heart, thinking “Maybe it’ll be different this time, maybe I won’t get hurt..” —-and it ALWAYS does. I PHYSICALLY can’t handle that kind of treatment any longer. I thought maybe, maybe I could find someone on here who I would have some lasting bond with, but apparently for me that is not possible. I don’t know why. I even REACHED OUT, asking WHAT I am doing wrong.

I’m SICK of the silence.

I’ve been here a couple years, and through all that time I’ve connected with maybe four people who have actually reached back and cared even a whit for me, even though some of them have stopped communicating with me as well, again without explanation, thus guilting me into trying to find a way in which I did something wrong.

I’m sick of feeling like that. I don’t want to continue feeling passed over and tossed aside.

It’s been an interesting ride, but I guess it’s time to stop now.

.

seriously

why does no one ever ask/write me anything on those prompts?

am i that unlikeable or are people that completely disinterested or what?

I almost feel like I’m getting complete cold shoulder treatment

i’m not saying this to sound whiny i just really wonder why :(

I hope your mood improves soon. <3

Thank you, dear. :)

Go on ANON and tell me what you think of me. I do not want to know who it is, at all. Don’t tell me who it is, don’t give me hints, don’t say your screen name. Tell me exactly what you think of me. Don’t sugarcoat things. Don’t lie. If you hate me, tell me why. Tell me what I’m doing wrong. If you like me, tell me why. Tell me exactly what you think of me.

Part of me feels like I should just gather my strength and put on a fake smile and at least attempt to go swing dancing tonight (it’s the last one before the holidays, and no new ones until January)

but the bigger part just wants to remain in bed, in the dark, in this beautiful silence, and eventually finish reading my wonderful book on the Bright Young Things